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[征文作品] 【2013文心雕龙】【艳福不浅】(01号)

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呵呵,最后那个是个梦才让我觉得本文有点合理,本文题材比较老套,但是是梦就符合男人内心的遐想,只有在梦里才会让言语来的这么不容易,这么不贴切实际。所以楼主经典之处在最后画龙点睛,及原来是个梦啊。如果不是梦就显得不那么自然贴切了,因为梦中的意识是楼主自己的所以还是比较合情合理的。至于对如何得到苏小婉的情节比较老套。及对苏小婉初次做爱的内心害怕期待忐忑刻画不够深刻。在此可以看出楼主有处女情节啊 而且要求比较高啊,既要有处女的肉体,又要有荡妇的内心啊!-----纯本人理解!不喜勿喷哦!!!
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  • zhangbobo05 金币 +16 认真回复,奖励! 2013-8-6 02:31

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